Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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