Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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