As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
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