I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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