I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
