I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
