Fuck appropriateness.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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