I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize