I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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