Say something about gay babies.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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