what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
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