jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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