I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
