Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
