i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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