No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
i drank out of a bidet.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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