we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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