"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
