woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
