whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
