i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
