maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
