They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize