Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
