The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize