dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
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