he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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