ya dads aren't the best wingmen
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Randomize