i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
