just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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