i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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