Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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