Even the bartender felt bad for me
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just high enough for therapy.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
