its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
