I look better un-naked...
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
