someone threw a dead crab at me
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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