I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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