And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
