I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
