the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
