One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize