No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Randomize
