Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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