ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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