at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize