Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
