Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
We smell like vodka and hangover
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