He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
