Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
