I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
