Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
