I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
