now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
