how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
