found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
