note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Randomize