Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
