"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Did we literally take a cab across the street
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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