i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
