is your mom at the bar?
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Randomize
