Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
