At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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