don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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