well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
