Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize