My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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