I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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