In America we eat man semen.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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