I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
